"I'm fine"

Sometimes I forget the depth of sadness that I feel, as I have always been the queen of "I'm fine". Growing up my life was made of "Don't worry about me's" and "I promise, I'm totally fine."

I forget that I am a cancer survivor. I forget that I have lost two financés, both of which have now move long past me...At least one of them I still pine for daily. I forget that I am not as strong as I appear. I forget that I raised myself, while my mother suffered from debilitating auto-immune problems.

In all of this forgetting, sometimes I think I forget myself. Forget that I am but a human, one who is made to bend but who may someday break. That I may be powerful beyond belief, but admitting weakness doesn't jeopardize this power--it only makes me strong.

Still to this day, if someone asks me how I am doing, I, like most others respond with the obligatory "I'm fine". But the truth is, maybe I'm not. And maybe that is ok.

I'm burnt out. I'm tired. And I am ready for new opportunities to come knocking at my door.